Parshat Tazria – Metzora: Simcha or Sin
By Rabbi Shmuel Goldin 
Original article:  http://www.ou.org/oupress/excerpt/tazria-_metzora_-_simcha_or_sin

http://www.ou.org/oupress/excerpt/tazria-_metzora_-_simcha_or_sin

It is interesting that in this article Mr. Goldin continues to perpetrate the following pretty crazy notions 1) that Eve was the cause of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden (she was clearly not, as shown below) and 2) in the traditional Jewish religion, menstruation and childbirth make a woman “unclean” and she must bathe before performing certain rituals.

I believe that Dr. Elaine Pagels admirable beat to death the horse that claimed “original sin” or some sort of endemic original sin or sin within woman coming from Eve the original woman in the Garden of Eden and you can just read her books.  She makes it clear that the bible does not condone or create such a fiction–this came centuries later from a clearly misogynistic steeped culture that no longer exists.  Rather the story of the Garden of Eden and Adam and Eve has more to do with the analogy of our birth as humans on earth.  We come from the otherside, that is our home. But the otherside is pure peace and love.  So if the soul wishes to advance in learning about difficulties, trauma, negativity, etc. and overcome all of these, it incarnates to earth with a chart, a plan and guardian angels. The story of the Garden of Eden and Adam and Eve is clearly an analogy to that scheme and nothing more.  Eve didn’t attain “original sin” or any “sin” at all from eating a piece of fruit, and neither did modern woman OR man.

How could possibly the eating of a fruit anger a demanding only male deity?  We already know that the Divine Ones or God/dess are all perfect and pure peace and love. Adam and Eve were not cast out, but decided to come to earth to incarnate and learn and that’s simply it.  Nothing more. The soul decides if and when to incarnate and nothing more.  Now, perhaps while we are all here struggling with the lessons we had planned, we might feel we got smote and kicked out by God/dess, but nothing could be more further from the truth.  We decide to come here and no one else forces us.  Earth is one of the most difficult immersion schools in the universe and you have to very advanced to incarnate here.

With respect to the second issue and the requirement of Mikvah after childbirth, a great explanation may be found on http://www.beingjewish.com/kresel/facts.html, where in the author explains that menstruation requires a mikvah because a mikvah is a special, blessed bath which is spirit and soul rejuvenating rather than just making one clean. During menstruation, some believe that a soul that could have been was lost. (Of course, that’s not entirely accurate, some eggs are just defective and that’s not gonna happen).  The mikvah symbolizes regaining life because water is the essence and basis of life.  So when a woman menstruates, she may experience such a loss and a special bath that is blessed should rejuvenate her spirits.

While this author didn’t get to tumor and childbirth, the analogy here would be clear wherein the mother is separated from the child so she experiences a bit of tumor too and a mikvah heals her or makes her whole.

Here is more from another website, that seems to stress the concept of rejuvenation and renewal over the concept of sin, impurity and women.

I guess from reading these articles, I would associate a mikvah to be more akin to baptism–yet done more frequently.

My apologies to those of you that think “7 days after the cessation of flow, a couple gets to have sex”?  Yikes.  Who does that?  According to modern sex research, apparently no one.  Most young couples make love at least twice per week and most do not skip the menstrual period time.    Some women can only get pregnant during that time and ovulate then.  Many couples find sex during that time to be extremely pleasurable.

From this website: http://www.chabad.org/theJewishWoman/article_cdo/aid/1541/jewish/The-Mikvah.htm

To the uninitiated, a modern-day mikvah looks like a miniature swimming pool. In a religion rich with detail, beauty, and ornamentation — against the backdrop of the ancient Temple or even modern-day synagogues — the mikvah is surprisingly nondescript, a humble structure.

Its ordinary appearance, however, belies its primary place in Jewish life and law. The mikvah offers the individual, the community, and the nation of Israel the remarkable gift of purity and holiness. No other religious establishment, structure, or rite can affect the Jew in this The world’s natural bodies of water — its oceans, rivers, wells, and spring-fed lakes — are mikvahs in their most primal form way and, indeed, on such an essential level. Its extraordinary power, however, is contingent on its construction in accordance with the numerous and complex specifications as outlined in Halachah, Jewish Law.

The world’s natural bodies of water — its oceans, rivers, wells, and spring-fed lakes — are mikvahs in their most primal form. They contain waters of divine source and thus, tradition teaches, the power to purify. Created even before the earth took shape, these bodies of water offer a quintessential route to consecration. But they pose difficulties as well. These waters may be inaccessible or dangerous, not to mention the problems of inclement weather and lack of privacy. Jewish life therefore necessitates the construction of mikvahs (“pools”), and indeed this has been done by Jews in every age and circumstance.

Briefly: A mikvah must be built into the ground or built as an essential part of a building. Portable receptacles, such as bathtubs, whirlpools, or Jacuzzis, can therefore never function as mikvahs. The mikvah must contain a minimum of two hundred gallons of rainwater that was gathered and siphoned into the mikvah pool in accordance with a highly specific set of regulations. In extreme cases where the acquisition of rainwater is impossible, ice or snow originating from a natural source may be used to fill the mikvah. As with the rainwater, an intricate set of laws surrounds its transport and handling.

The casual observer will often see only one pool — the one used for immersion. In reality, most mikvahs are comprised of two, sometimes three, adjoining pools. While the accumulated rainwater is kept in one pool, the adjacent immersion pool is drained and refilled regularly with tap water. The pools share a common wall that has a hole at least two inches in diameter. The free flow, or “kissing,” of waters between the two pools makes the waters of the immersion pool an extension of the natural rainwater, thus conferring upon the immersion pool the Halachah stipulates that one must be scrupulously clean before immersing legal status of a mikvah. (The above description is one of two methods sanctioned by Halachah to achieve this goal.) Modern-day mikvah pools are equipped with filtration and water-purification systems. The mikvah waters are commonly chest high and kept at a comfortable temperature. Access to the pool is achieved via stairs. (Mikvahs accessible to the handicapped or infirm are equipped with lifts.)

The mikvah as an institution is the victim of a popular misconception. Immersion in water is naturally associated with cleansing. To further complicate the issue, Jews historically were often barred by the authorities from using rivers in their cities for bathing. In response they built bathhouses, many with mikvahs in or near them. Together, these factors forged an inextricable link between the idea of mikvah and physical hygiene. But the mikvah never was a monthly substitute for a bath or shower. In fact, the Halachah stipulates that one must be scrupulously clean before immersing. To facilitate this requirement, preparation areas — with baths and showers, shampoos, soaps, and other cleansing and beauty aids — are a staple of the modern mikvah.

Until a relatively short time ago, most mikvahs could best be described as utilitarian: function, not comfort, dictated their style. A new awareness among modern Jewish women, the rabbinate, and community leaders over the last few decades has sparked a new trend in mikvah construction. Beautiful, even lavish, mikvahs — complete with elegant foyers and waiting rooms, fully equipped preparation areas, and well-designed mikvah pools — are being built across this country and around the world. Some mikvahs rival luxurious European spas and offer patrons more amenities than they could enjoy at home.

In communities with large populations of mikvah users, the building may house as many as twenty or thirty preparation areas and two to four immersion pools. In these facilities, an intercom system linking each of the rooms to a central desk and an attendant ensures the privacy of the many mikvah users. Some of the larger mikvah buildings include conference rooms used for tours and educational programming.

Today it is not just a Jewish metropolis that can boast a mikvah. In remote, even exotic, locations- Anchorage, Alaska, and Bogota, Colombia; Yerres, France, and Ladispoli, Italy; Agadir, Morocco, and Asuncion in Paraguay; Lima, Peru, and Cape Town, South Africa; Bangkok, Thailand, and Zarzis, Tunisia; and almost every city in the C.I.S. (former Soviet Union) — there are kosher and comfortable mikvahs and rabbis and rebbetzins willing and able to assist any woman in their use. In many communities a tour of the mikvah is available on request. Upon arrival in a new city or when traveling, information about mikvahs in the region can be obtained by phoning the local mikvah office, the Orthodox synagogue, or the Chabad House.

-II-

Immersion in the mikvah has offered a gateway to purity ever since the creation of man. The Midrash relates that after being banished from Eden, Adam sat in a river that flowed from the garden. This was an integral part of his teshuvah (repentance) process, of his attempt at return to his original perfection.

Before the revelation at Sinai, all Jews were commanded to immerse themselves in preparation for coming face to face with G-d.

Immersion in the mikvah has offered a gateway to purity ever since the creation of man

In the desert, the famed “well of Miriam” served as a mikvah. And Aaron and his sons’ induction into the priesthood was marked by immersion in the mikvah.

In Temple times, the priests as well as each Jew who wished entry into the House of G-d had first to immerse in a mikvah.

On Yom Kippur, the holiest of all days, the High Priest was allowed entrance into the Holy of Holies, the innermost chamber of the Temple, into which no other mortal could enter. This was the zenith of a day that involved an ascending order of services, each of which was preceded by immersion in the mikvah.

The primary uses of mikvah today are delineated in Jewish Law and date back to the dawn of Jewish history. They cover many elements of Jewish life. Mikvah is an integral part of conversion to Judaism. Mikvah is used, though less widely known, for the immersion of new pots, dishes, and utensils before they are used by a Jew. The mikvah concept is also the focal point of the taharah, the purification rite of a Jew before the person is laid to rest and the soul ascends on high. The manual pouring of water in a highly specific manner over the entire body of the deceased serves this purpose.

Mikvah is also used by men on various occasions; with the exception of conversion, they are all customary. The most widely practiced are immersion by a groom on his wedding day and by every man before Yom Kippur. Many Chassidic men use the mikvah before each Shabbat and holiday, some even making use of mikvah each day before morning prayer (in cities with large populations of observant Jews, special mikvahs for men facilitate these customs). But the most important and general usage of mikvah is for purification by the menstruant woman.

For the menstruant woman, immersion in a mikvah is part of a larger framework best known as Taharat Hamishpachah (Family Purity). As with every area of Jewish practice, Family Purity involves a set of detailed laws; namely, the “when,” “what,” and “how” of observance. Studying with a woman who is experienced in this field is the time-honored way of gaining familiarity and comfort with the practice. In cities or communities with large Jewish populations, there may be classes one can join. The majority of women, however, come by this knowledge through a more personal one-on-one encounter. While books are a poor substitute for a knowledgeable teacher, select titles can be used as a guide to this ritual or for quick reference (see suggested book list in appendix to this essay). What follows is only a brief overview of these laws. It is not, and was not intended to be, a substitute for proper study of this subject.

Family purity is a system predicated on the woman’s monthly cycle. From the onset of menstruation and for seven days after its end, until the woman immerses in the mikvah, husband and wife may not engage in sexual relations. To avoid violation of this law, the couple should curtail their indulgence in actions they find arousing, putting a check on direct physical contact and refraining from physical manifestations of affection. The technical term for a woman in this state is Niddah (literal meaning: to be separated).

Exactly a week from when the woman has established the cessation of her flow, she visits the mikvah. Immersion takes place after nightfall of the seventh day and is preceded by a requisite cleansing. The immersion is valid only when the waters of the mikvah envelop each and every part of the body and, indeed, each hair. To this end, the woman bathes, shampoos, combs her hair, and removes from her body anything that might impede her total immersion.

Immersion in the mikvah is the culmination of the Taharat Hamishpachah discipline. It is a special moment for the woman who has adhered to the many nuances of the mitzvah and has anticipated this night. Sometimes, however, the woman may be feeling rushed or anxious for reasons related or unrelated to this rite. At this point, she should relax, spend a few moments contemplating the importance of the immersion, and in an unhurried fashion, lower herself into the mikvah waters. After immersing once, while standing in the waters of the mikvah, the woman recites the blessing for ritual purification and then, in accordance with widespread custom, immerses twice more. Many women use this auspicious time for personal prayer and communication with G-d. After immersion, woman and husband may resume marital relations.

-III-

Before exploring the deeper dimensions of this ritual, we must briefly examine the centrality of mikvah to Jewish life.

Most Jews, even those who deem themselves secular, are familiar, at least conceptually, with religious observances such as the Sabbath, the dietary laws, Yom Kippur and a number of other Torah laws. Mikvah and Family Purity, on the other hand, are shrouded in obscurity — pages torn out of the book, as it were.

Yet the observance of Family Purity is a biblical injunction of the highest order. The infraction of this law is equated with major transgressions such as eating chametz (leavened foods) on Passover, intentional violation of the fast on the holy day of Yom Kippur, and not entering into the covenant through ritual circumcision, brit milah.

The mikvah’s unparalleled function lies in its power of transformation, its ability to effect metamorphosis

Most Jews see the synagogue as the central institution in Jewish life, But Jewish Law states that constructing a mikvah takes precedence even over building a house of worship. Both a synagogue and a Torah Scroll, Judaism’s most venerated treasure, may be sold to raise funds for the building of a mikvah. In fact, in the eyes of Jewish law, a group of Jewish families living together do not attain the status of a community if they do not have a communal mikvah.

This is so for a simple reason: private and even communal prayer can be held in virtually any location, and venues for the social functions of the synagogue can be found elsewhere. But Jewish married life, and therefore the birth of future generations in accordance with Halachah, is possible only where there is accessibility to a mikvah. It is no exaggeration to state that the mikvah is the touchstone of Jewish life and the portal to a Jewish future.

-IV-

We have already determined that the function of mikvah is not to enhance physical hygiene. The concept of mikvah is rooted in the spiritual.

Jewish life is marked by the notion of Havdalah — separation and distinction. On Saturday night, as the Shabbat departs and the new week begins, Jews are reminded of the borders that delineate every aspect of life. Over a cup of sanctified wine, the Jew blesses G-d who “separates between the holy and the mundane, between light and darkness, between Israel and the nations, between the seventh day and six days of labor….”

In fact, the literal definition of the Hebrew word kodesh — most often translated as “holy” — is that which is separated; segregated from the rest for a unique purpose, for consecration.

In many ways mikvah is the threshold separating the unholy from the holy, but it is even more. Simply put, immersion in a mikvah signals a change in status — more correctly, an elevation in status. Its unparalleled function lies in its power of transformation, its ability to effect metamorphosis.

Utensils that could heretofore not be used can, after immersion, be utilized in the holy act of eating as a Jew. A woman, who from the onset of her menses was in a state of niddut, separated from her husband, may after immersion be reunited with him in the ultimate holiness of married intimacy. Men or women in Temple times, who were precluded from services because of ritual defilement, could, after immersion, alight the Temple Mount, enter the House of G-d and involve themselves in sacrificial offerings and the like. The case of the convert is most dramatic. The individual who descends into the mikvah as a gentile emerges from beneath its waters as a Jew.

G-d’s commandments, the 613 injunctions known as mitzvot, are divided into three distinct categories:

Mishpatim are those laws governing the civil and moral fabric of life; they are logical, readily understood, and widely appreciated as pivotal to the foundation and maintenance of a healthy society. Examples are the proscription against murder, theft, and adultery.

Eidut are those rituals and rites best described as testimonials. This category includes the many religious acts that remind Jews of historic moments in their history and serve as testament to cardinal beliefs of the Jewish faith, such as the observance of the Sabbath, the celebration of Passover, and the affixing of a mezuzah on the doorpost.

The third category, chukkim, are supra-rational principles; they are Divine decrees about which the human mind can form no judgment. Chukkim completely defy human intellect and understanding. From time immemorial they have been a source of amusement, a target of scorn, and an uncomfortable and shameful presence to the detractors of Jewish observance. For the observant Jew, they personify a mitzvah at its best; a pure, unadulterated avenue of connection with G-d. These mitzvot are recognized as the greatest, the ones capable of affecting the soul on the deepest level. Unimpeded by the limitations of the human mind, these statutes are practiced for one reason only: the fulfillment of G-d’s word. Examples are the laws of Kashrut, the prohibition against wearing shatnez (clothes containing a combination of wool and linen), and the laws of ritual purity and mikvah.

The mikvah personifies both the womb and the grave; the portals to life and afterlife

When all is said and done, an understanding of the ultimate reason for the framework of Family Purity and its culminating point — immersion in the mikvah — is impossible. We observe simply because G-d so ordained it. Still there are insights that can help add dimension and meaning to our mikvah experience.

In the beginning there was only water. A miraculous compound, it is the primary source and vivifying factor of all sustenance and, by extension, all life as we know it. But Judaism teaches it is more. For these very same attributes — water as source and sustaining energy — are mirrored in the spiritual. Water has the power to purify: to restore and replenish life to our essential, spiritual selves.

The mikvah personifies both the womb and the grave; the portals to life and afterlife. In both, the person is stripped of all power and prowess. In both there is a mode of total reliance, complete abdication of control. Immersion in the mikvah can be understood as a symbolic act of self-abnegation, the conscious suspension of the self as an autonomous force. In so doing, the immersing Jew signals a desire to achieve oneness with the source of all life, to return to a primeval unity with G-d. Immersion indicates the abandonment of one form of existence to embrace one infinitely higher. In keeping with this theme, immersion in the mikvah is described not only in terms of purification, revitalization, and rejuvenation but also — and perhaps primarily — as rebirth.

Original article: http://www.ou.org/torah/article/rabbi_weinrebs_torah_column_parshas_shemini#.T7pXqVLBtAM

http://www.ou.org/torah/article/rabbi_weinrebs_torah_column_parshas_shemini#.T7pXqVLBtAM

One of the things that Mr. Weinreb does not mention in the age old story is, what about the mother of the two children that died.

To begin with, I want to assure everyone out there that God/dess never, never, never creates any pain, tragedy, unhappiness or anything negative to us.  That is only what we humans conjure up ourselves.

We live on the otherside and the earth is our temporary immersion school for life’s lessons. Noting more.  People come and go, just as they did and still do to college.

So, to begin with, let’s try going back to the original story.  While Mr. Weinreb seems to make the obvious association with someone dying, esp. a child, with the wrath of an (read evil, demanding male deity) perhaps this is not so the case.

Nadab and Abihu

Acting on their own, Aaron’s sons Nadab and Abihu each took his fire pan, laid incense on it, and offered alien fire, which God had not commanded. (Leviticus 10:1.) And God sent fire to consume them, and they died. (Leviticus 10:2.) Moses told Aaron, “This is what the Lord meant when He said: ‘Through those near to Me I show Myself holy, and gain glory before all the people,’” and Aaron remained silent. (Leviticus 10:3.) Moses called Aaron’s cousins Mishael and Elzaphan to carry away Nadab’s and Abihu’s bodies to a place outside the camp. (Leviticus 10:4.) Moses instructed Aaron and his sons Eleazar and Ithamar not to mourn Nadab and Abihu by rending their garments or leaving their hair unshorn and not to go outside the Tent of Meeting. (Leviticus 10:6–7.)

And God told Aaron that he and his sons must not drink wine or other intoxicants when they entered the Tent of Meeting, so as to distinguish between the sacred and the profane. (Leviticus 10:8–11.)

One really wonders 1) if the strange fire and incense killed the two boys (most likely not, from a scientific point of view, combustibles, esp. in that age probably weren’t very predictable, after all, combustion engineering was not the science it is today–I could go on about this since I took it in college and yes, rocket science is fun and not that terribly difficult), and 2) just because Aaron was silent about the death did not mean he did not deeply grieve, perhaps his wife and the women did that for him-no mention of that and 3) the tearing of clothes and wailing is not in and of itself necessarily indicative of “proper” grieving.

We know for a fact that men cry less than women and children.  However, we also know that men who do not cry are more prone to heart attacks.  So, this is not recommended if you are reading this and you are a guy.

I certainly  have to respectfully disagree with you, Mr. Weinreb, that having strange incense and fire was the cause of death of these two boys.  When it is our time, we go home.  And no, God/dess isn’t going to be “wrathful” and take someone out.  Those are only negative human emotions imputed (wrongfully) to God/dess who are all love and peace.

God/dess are the Divine Ones, the Blessed Ones. They are all peace and love.

Aaron may have been silent about the death of his children, but assuredly he grieved.  And in a primitive society that thought messy death, plagues and illness were brought about by behaviors and a male deity of vengeance, assuredly Aaron and the children’s mother grieved behind closed doors.

While your analysis was very short, Mr.Weinreb, respectfully it overlooked many other complexities on an entirely different level.

One of the worst things about Leviticus 10 is we don’t even know the name of the children’s mother and who she was and how she raised those boys and loved them and cared for them.  Fathers are wonderful too, but children need two parents and both should be mentioned.

Original article:

“Let’s Just Be Friends”: Do Platonic Relationships Work?

http://www.ou.org/life/relationships/lets-just-be-friends-do-platonic-relationships-work-michael-feldstein/#.T7pYr1LBtAM

Here is another thing that they did not discuss, which is very important, whether you believe it or not it is something to consider and save for later. That is, many times when we meet someone we might be drawn or attracted to them, or even infatuated, although we have a perfectly fine spouse or Significant Other (“SO”).  The reason for that is these entities are actually old lovers or spouses from our past lives. We are not actually meant to leave our spouses or SO’s and run off with them.  They are there to refresh our spirits, and at worst, they are a test that we can resist sexual temptation and have care and concern for our spouses.

People that have sexual issues and succumb to simple temptation and betray loving, caring spouses will find themselves involved with a whole lot of bad karma. It is extremely bad karma to betray a spouse or SO.  In fact, it’s the type of karma that so bad, I would not wish it on my best enemy.  It manifests itself in the following diseases: MS, epilepsy, quadraplegia, etc. because with those diseases you are completely dependent upon your spouse, and often literally cannot live without a caring, dedicated partner.  Or at least you do not live well without a dedicated partner.

My advice is if you are attracted to someone and think your marriage is over is to work on your marriage first, and if there is an impasse with severely dysfunctional behavior on the part of the other spouse, then very well end it honorably. Make sure your spouse is provided for.  Make sure you will be there for your children.  If you can’t do that, then just don’t end it.

You really cannot very well desert a spouse or your children.   You should not leave a spouse except for very delinquent behavior that is tatamount to abuse, and then your duty to yourself and children is to leave and make sure that you and the children are safe from that other person who is learning not to behave that way. Don’t worry about retribution or revenge–for the universe and karma will take care of those issues and you need not intervene.

Often when a person realizes that a severe attraction to another entity on earth is only past karma, this in and of itself solves the issue. The persons can be friends, but not to the extent that it threatens the other spouse or SO.  Care and caution must be taken often.

One of the highest duties you learn when you are married, is that you have to listen, communicate and assure your spouse you have no interest in other entities wandering the earth in a romantic fashion. They are friends you get along with well and that’s it.

Oh, and never worry that you haven’t met your “soulmate on earth.” I assure you that your soulmate isn’t here and that’s for a few reasons.  The first is, earth is a learning experience and you WILL suffer trauma and pain.  Because you are so connected, the trauma and pain instantly impacts your soulmate, but we are supposed to be on earth learning our own lessons, and when your soulmate is drawn into your pain too much, he can’t learn his own stuff he came here for.  Second, the two of you would never get out of bed you would love each other so much.
Therefore, typically your spouses, lovers and SO’s will typically be what is called a kindred spirit or someone you have already known and loved “a thousand years” just like the song. Those attractions are easily sufficient to make a 75 year+ marriage grow and flourish.

There is nothing on this earth more attractive and attracting to us than our loves, friendships and personal interactions.

Spend a lot of time on love–it is mostly what you are meant to learn on this earth.

Original Article:

Easy Weight Loss Solutions and the Lap Band: Not So Effective, Possibly Dangerous

http://www.ou.org/life/health/physical-health/easy-weight-loss-solutions-lap-band-not-so-effective-dangerous-alan-freishtat/#.T7pZolLBtAM

I couldn’t agree more with banning these dangerous devices and just telling patients the truth–junk food and most commercial processed foods are the problem.
Dump the carbs.  Add in supplementation with B, C and get your D3 tested and supplemented if necessary.  Probiotics are good for healing digestion too.  Non-organic, processed foods contain many chemicals that pack the pounds on and cause diabetes type II, which left untreated will turn to type I.
Add yoga or a gentle exercise program and you’re there.  No excuses.
Honestly sometimes I think the police should be checking the kitchens of some people and parents for junk food and dumping it.  Convenient stores with junk foods should be banned.
If God/dess didn’t make it, you shouldn’t eat it.  Period.